it all starts making sense

. maybe my preoccupation with death and dying and all things morbid,can be explained after all.
the other day i was searching some image query on google, and halfway down the page this painting fairly JUMPED out at me.
It was like a sudden trip back in time.This picture hung over the head of my bed from before the time i was old enough to notice it until i was in maybe...4th or 5th grade? Not exactly the stuff sweet dreams are made of,rite?
I remember asking my grandmother about it one time in particular and she answered  "Well Tiffany,if you are right with the Lord ,you have nothing to be afraid of. You will be one of the ones shooting through the sky with the angels, shining like a beautiful star.And that is nothing to be afraid of now is it?"
I remember thinking about it and studying the picture for a moment or two before asking her disconcertedly,"but grama there are more headstones than there are people shooting like stars.."
"Yes.", she said ominously as she looked down into my upturned face and raised one perfectly penciled eyebrow at me.
"what will happen to the rest of the people?"
"Well", she said thoughtfully with the hint of a smirk on her lips,"I suppose they will be waking up in that old graveyard to a hell of a surprise.Don't you think?"
I stood there and thought.
"What would YOU do if you woke up under the dirt in that cemetary some night.You would be scared probably.What would you do?"
I considered her question carefully before i smiled ,sure that i had come up with the right answer and said triumphantly "I wouldn't be scared,Grama. I wouldn't be very scared at all. I would just pray to God and Jesus and they would send the Holy Spirit to comfort me and protect me and show me the way home."
Grama shook her head and bent over so she could hold me in her gaze."I'm afraid,my Dear that is what alot of people will make the mistake of thinking.When Jesus comes back and the dead shall rise again so he can take all of his people to heaven with him,it will be far too late for all of the wicked to ask for forgiveness for their sins.Jesus will just act like he cant even hear them talking.And the people will all cry and pray and beg but it wont do them any good at all. The Holy Spirit will desert this wicked , evil, godless world and the Satan, will be the only sheriff in town.And he will be so cruel and unstoppable that the people who are left will beg for the mountains to fall on top of them.But they wont. All of the babies will be born with terrible diseases and deformed bodies, and their mothers wont want them and their wont be any milk for them to drink. Noone will be allowed to eat or drink anything unless they take a mark on their bodies somewhere saying that they belong to Satan.And if you get the mark you are going to go to hell.. Period."
"But wouldnt they be in hell already?"
"Not yet. Jesus will give you one last single chance to make it up to him.But it will be horrible and difficult.Too difficult for most people to do...."
"What ? What is it ?What can I do to make it up to Jesus?",by this time i was nearly crying.
"Well as long as you don't take the mark of the beast , you can get in line with all of the other sorry people and wait your turn to stand up in front of everyone and tell them that you are a christian.And that you love Jesus and that you are sorry and that you are willing to die for your  beliefs,"Grama said sternly.
"Die?", I asked her.
"Yes , the only way to go to heaven will be to become a martyr for Christ, just liike John the Baptist. You will wait in line with all of the others who couldnt just follow the directions in the bible and then you will be beheaded for your faith and then you can go to heaven.Otherwise you can die a million horrible deaths before you go to hell and spend eternity in a lake of fire and brimstone."
My lips started to tremble and the tears of conviction began to overflow onto my cheeks.I believed her.
She shook her head again and said "but as long as you just do what the bible tells you ...you wont have any problems,rite?"
"right," I thought with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. And then and there I began to prepare myself  for the experience of being beheaded and for the eternal fires of dammnation..
Some of us just arent great at following directions....