Friday, March 19, 2010

she's just strange

mine for so long
maybe it was really just time
that you fell in love
in itself not a crime.
but girls like that one cum and go
all the time
i'll show you a dozen and you can keep your fucking dime-
-bag me up
tag me up
you never try you let me down
i'm too tired to keep us both afloat
so you left me all alone to drown
victim of the undertow
now youre a star fish in my crown
so now i say im happy for you
but the truth is that i'm not
just go ahead and figure out its exactly like i thought
so now you say your sorry and you'll call
but the truth is that you won't
i seal my lips and dry my eyes
i want to scream and plead-but i dont
it feels so strange to be this girl on this strange momentous day
to be the one to stay behind and watch you walk away.
12:03am 08172009
***if you use my writings please have the decency to ask permission first...thank you!!!

One Of The Most Important Songs In My Musical History...


Words and Music by Jakob Dylan

So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees

I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place

Chorus:
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella,
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight

She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge

(chorus)

Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams

I think her death it must be killin' me

Sunday, March 14, 2010

The Most Profoundly Religious Picture I Have Ever Seen...

The picture could be interpreted in any number of ways...one could suppose that Jesus is weezing on the YMCA biker's shot but, i prefer to think that Jesus is simply interceding for him...the way he does for me and for all of us..every day. If i were the artist i think i would have titled this one.."Jesus Feels My Pain,"

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Terminal Gold

you know its like all of my limbs feel cold
somehow the
the summertime is old and gently sighing its last few breaths
and we are living out our last requests
together - forever is now.
your presence soothes me and brings to mind
sunshine the britest that ever shined
long ago when we still yearned
before fickle affections and the seasons turned
this girl into woman with the truth behind
the beautiful pain of autumn's terminal gold.
08162009
***if you use my writings, please have the decency to ask permission FIRST. thankyou

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

could it get any better?

i dont think SO. these guys are young, hot,and just totally fucking fine!!ok ok done heres thye vid.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

it all starts making sense

. maybe my preoccupation with death and dying and all things morbid,can be explained after all.
the other day i was searching some image query on google, and halfway down the page this painting fairly JUMPED out at me.
It was like a sudden trip back in time.This picture hung over the head of my bed from before the time i was old enough to notice it until i was in maybe...4th or 5th grade? Not exactly the stuff sweet dreams are made of,rite?
I remember asking my grandmother about it one time in particular and she answered  "Well Tiffany,if you are right with the Lord ,you have nothing to be afraid of. You will be one of the ones shooting through the sky with the angels, shining like a beautiful star.And that is nothing to be afraid of now is it?"
I remember thinking about it and studying the picture for a moment or two before asking her disconcertedly,"but grama there are more headstones than there are people shooting like stars.."
"Yes.", she said ominously as she looked down into my upturned face and raised one perfectly penciled eyebrow at me.
"what will happen to the rest of the people?"
"Well", she said thoughtfully with the hint of a smirk on her lips,"I suppose they will be waking up in that old graveyard to a hell of a surprise.Don't you think?"
I stood there and thought.
"What would YOU do if you woke up under the dirt in that cemetary some night.You would be scared probably.What would you do?"
I considered her question carefully before i smiled ,sure that i had come up with the right answer and said triumphantly "I wouldn't be scared,Grama. I wouldn't be very scared at all. I would just pray to God and Jesus and they would send the Holy Spirit to comfort me and protect me and show me the way home."
Grama shook her head and bent over so she could hold me in her gaze."I'm afraid,my Dear that is what alot of people will make the mistake of thinking.When Jesus comes back and the dead shall rise again so he can take all of his people to heaven with him,it will be far too late for all of the wicked to ask for forgiveness for their sins.Jesus will just act like he cant even hear them talking.And the people will all cry and pray and beg but it wont do them any good at all. The Holy Spirit will desert this wicked , evil, godless world and the Satan, will be the only sheriff in town.And he will be so cruel and unstoppable that the people who are left will beg for the mountains to fall on top of them.But they wont. All of the babies will be born with terrible diseases and deformed bodies, and their mothers wont want them and their wont be any milk for them to drink. Noone will be allowed to eat or drink anything unless they take a mark on their bodies somewhere saying that they belong to Satan.And if you get the mark you are going to go to hell.. Period."
"But wouldnt they be in hell already?"
"Not yet. Jesus will give you one last single chance to make it up to him.But it will be horrible and difficult.Too difficult for most people to do...."
"What ? What is it ?What can I do to make it up to Jesus?",by this time i was nearly crying.
"Well as long as you don't take the mark of the beast , you can get in line with all of the other sorry people and wait your turn to stand up in front of everyone and tell them that you are a christian.And that you love Jesus and that you are sorry and that you are willing to die for your  beliefs,"Grama said sternly.
"Die?", I asked her.
"Yes , the only way to go to heaven will be to become a martyr for Christ, just liike John the Baptist. You will wait in line with all of the others who couldnt just follow the directions in the bible and then you will be beheaded for your faith and then you can go to heaven.Otherwise you can die a million horrible deaths before you go to hell and spend eternity in a lake of fire and brimstone."
My lips started to tremble and the tears of conviction began to overflow onto my cheeks.I believed her.
She shook her head again and said "but as long as you just do what the bible tells you ...you wont have any problems,rite?"
"right," I thought with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. And then and there I began to prepare myself  for the experience of being beheaded and for the eternal fires of dammnation..
Some of us just arent great at following directions....

Friday, March 5, 2010

(s)aint

Quite possibly the singley COOLEST fucking rock and roll video ever in life ever.Disturbingly erotic and scary at the same time...Manson at the very top of his game...all hail...
This time no stories
This time no lies
This somber chime hails the 
very last
of many failed tries
The blinders finally off
of  veiled eyes
Choking on pride and accusations
Lips sealed against cheated cries
That you dont even deserve to fucking 
hear in this lifetime.
-T.S.2008